To put down some of my thoughts that have been swimming in my head,
- I am starting to feel homesick. But less so for my family (although if I dwell on them, I do start to feel a little homesick for them), and actually more so for my family's kitchen. For my mom's stand mixer (xD). For the ability to try out all these recipes I've gathered in the past month and bake. To be able to take that 5-minute walk to the Albertson's (a grocery store approximately equal to Kroger or Randall's) and window shop and buy whatever ingredients I want.
- I am tempted to leave my hair and beard on until I go home. Man, that would disturb my family. xD Last year I came out to them, and now this year I came back with a... beard?!? What craziness will happen next year??
- Sooo many books to read. I can't wait to roll up my sleeves and delve into N.T. Wright and Tim Keller.
- Christmas. 12/25/11. That's the projected date for when I'll come out to my church's English worship service. Apparently my home church is not have Christmas service on Christmas Day. haha. Rom 12:2, right? xD
- Still not sure what I'm gonna say. I'm thinking an overview of what I've learned through college about God/Christianity/life? Maybe I can grab the other college kids and we can all share our experiences.
- I am failing at keeping myself pure. I'm finding difficulty bringing myself to care. This could be a whole 'nother future post. I'm currently rationalizing all my actions on the stress of the last couple weeks of school. Briefly, however,
And it is pride that resists the recognition that I am a sinner. If guilt recognizes that I have acted in a way inconsistent with the image of God in me, pride says that God must be made in the image of my acts and desires. Guilt hurts because when I feel guilty, the axe is being laid to the very roots of my sinful nature: my proud assertion that I am the master of my fate, the captain of my soul, that I, and not God’s law, will determine what is right for me.
Christ said that a house divided against itself cannot stand, and simply to recognize God’s law, even if I fail completely to obey it, divides the deadly sins against themselves within my heart. Because as soon as I admit that chastity is good, every sexual sin strikes a blow at my pride, my delusion of my own righteousness. Even if I make no progress in chastity, the repeated acknowledgement of my failure, leads to an ever-deepening humility, and the recognition that my salvation can only come from God."
- December 1st and December 1st only. YOGURTLAND WILL HAVE AN EGGNOG FLAVOR?? Must. Eat.
- I realize I didn't write anything about all the things/people I'm thankful for! This should also be forthcoming. >_<
are you speaking at hcc??? or is this your church in washington?
ReplyDeleteah, no, this is my home church back in Washington. haha, maybe someday I'll be asked to speak at HCC! That would be intense. But for now I'll wait until I'm asked.
ReplyDeleteThat's dope that they are welcoming dialogue about homosexuality. Praych it!
ReplyDeleteooh, they don't actually know I'm coming out then yet... xD I feel like I'd rather tell the youth leaders in person than through an e-mail, though, so i'll try to do that when I go home.
ReplyDeleteInterestingly, however, i saw one of my friends from my home church who is my same year reply back to the weekly youth group emails, and so I decided to click on that e-mail. They were talking about gay marriage, since some of the younger students didn't know at all about why gay people couldn't get married and if that was in the Bible. My friend gave various arguments for both sides, and I decided to chime in by giving my view (that it should be legalized) and sending that link to the conservative Christian's case for civil same-sex marriage.
Three or so people thanked us for giving our views, and they are actually going to have a discussion about it this Sunday. So it is looking to be a positive atmosphere at least. =) Really cool to see how God is like setting the stage by setting things up for me to speak... much like how David Carter spoke about homosexuality the Sunday before I spoke at CCF.