Here's what I wrote in the group journal for Alternative Spring Break. I rushed to type it down from the actual journal before the CIC closed and Loretta picked me up for UH's graduation. I still have that long overdue post where I talk about the nitty-grittiness of ASB and what I really learned and took away, but I'll get to that... soon. Ugh, maybe when I'm at the airport on Sunday or something, waiting for the hours of layover that I have to pass by.
Wednesday
7 March 2012
I am unfashionably late to the journal-writing party, as it's been 4 days since we stepped off our plane, bringing us back into IAH. But that doesn't mean I'm anywhere close to being done processing this experience--let's hope this entry helps facilitate my reflections.
As per usual, many people have asked me how my spring break/ASB went. I generally reflexively respond with, "Good," and then we both stand there, waiting for me to elaborate. The second word that always comes to mind that I say is "difficult." Our service didn't end when we had all piled into our Blue and Red Machines and were driving back to First Pres. As someone remarked during one Rice Reflections, our trip was triple-layered, which I'll explain below. So if this ASB trip were a three-layered cake (red velvet or carrot maybe? =) ), here's how I'd describe things:
The First (Base) Layer: KIPP: Impact
Oh, the KIPPsters! They were so adorable, and the teachers were so caring, and the atmosphere was so focused. My head still rings of "That's a demerit for posture," of "college hands" and of stomps, claps, snaps, and glow worms. Being only 5th and 6th graders, they weren't always elated to be in such a strict environment (heck, I'd certainly have trouble handling it even now), but they could tell their teachers cared about them ("They cared a bit too much," some said) and it was a constant inspiration to see how on top of things all the teachers were. And even when the students hated KIPP, I would ask about their parents' view of KIPP and all their parents unanimously loved KIPP... so they realized that transferring schools wasn't a likely possibility for them after all.
That's not to say that all the students wanted to transfer out of course! Some were really invested in their education and were incredibly self-motivated. My students that I tutored in math, J and N, would make remarkable bounds every day, and I was amazed at how much they understood by the end of the week. I know it wasn't all because of my tutoring, or really even partly due to my tutoring... they easily could have forgotten and given up any day they wanted to. And I would have been helpless to teach them much. So KIPP's model of realizing that it's not just that every child can learn, but that every child will learn certainly holds true. On the last day, J ended up getting a 20%, and N got an 80% on their quizzes. I awkwardly had to both congratulate N and comfort J as they sat next to each other and J put his hood up, buried his face in his arms, and silently cried. J and I worked through the problems afterwards, however, and his grit in wanting to learn and his determination to not give up was truly admirable. I can't say I bounce back from failures so easily--I usually don't like to look at what I did wrong on something until weeks later, or until I have to.
Having all three components work together--the teachers, the parents, and the students--that is something KIPP does well and it shows how much good can arise when those three are in tandem. To be able to be a source of encouragement, a brief help, or a temporary role model to them... man, what a privilege. They've definitely shown me how effective and necessary discipline and being strict is, and I hope I can lay down the law with love more in the future.
The Second Layer: Wheatley High School
I do hope they had a great experience and took a lot from the trip. The lack of sleep was obviously killer, and I know my expectations were just a little too unrealistic. They were mentees just as they were mentors, and I didn't appreciate that fact nor realize how much mentoring they needed. I learned some appropriate phrases like "finna" just in time for the KIPP students and was grateful for that. But I think learning to handle such eclectic experiences and expectations about the trip was what I primarily encountered. Handling frustration, disappointment, and annoyance--it was all there, and it all contributed to why "difficult"is the second word that comes to mind when I think back to this trip. Once again, however, what's more important is what they got from the trip, rather than what I got from them. I'm glad we took that tour to Jacksonville University, because even though it was long, it was an intriguing and pretty campus, a nice break, and I think Wheatley really enjoyed it. Besides, I wouldn't be surprised if they had disappointments about me or frustrations about how the trip was going. That's life. Without a doubt, thought, the trip wouldn't have been the same at all without them.
The Third Layer: Rice University
What a great group. You guys were awesome and there were so many times that I was extremely grateful for each one of you being on this trip. Thanks for sticking with everything even when Albert and I were at the end of our ropes. Thank you for the encouragement and the belief that things would be fine, because I know the stress was probably evident many times on my face and through my body language. I hope we can continue our friendships as we are here back at Rice, and that w'll be able to still spur each other on. =) Our Rice Reflections were much-welcomed and much-needed. Thank you for being willing and eager to do them, at the cost of sleep.
The Icing: Site Leading with Albert
(Someone during Rice Reflections remarked that if this was a triple-layered experience, Albert and I were kinda like the icing, which I thought was cute and ingenious. xD)
This boy... he is so awesome and the main reason I wanted to site lead rather than just be a participant. His passion and his enthusiasm were such an encouragement and his fast-thinking and previous leadership experience were crucial, essential pieces to making this trip run well. I learned so much about our different personalities and styles, perhaps made most evident in how he is an extrovert whereas I am an introvert. Our site leader reflections would find ourselves reflecting two different mindsets and approaches to an issue, but ultimately reaching the same conclusion. I definitely ill cherish the advice and role modelness that Albert has provided me.
I described what each layer of our triple-layered carrot cake (that seems more nutritious tan red velvet, haha) of ASB was like, but to put to word s how it felt to eat this deliciousness of a cake is beyond what I can write here (ask me for my blog if you want more, haha.) But I know it was worth the calories of time, money, and effort to ingest and I'm so thankful to be blessed to have this experience. Learning and growing were tow major things I did--learning about my insecurities, foibles, and strengths was illuminating. Growing, or at least trying to grow, from what I learned is a process I'm still undergoing, even days after (and probably it'll be for much longer after) this trip. Thank you to everyone for bearing with me.
Much love,
David Wang
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