Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Singleness & Celibacy Interview

"Have there been particular practices, ideas, or states of mind that you have found to be helpful in your journey as you have been striving to live our your sexuality in a way that you feel is pleasing to God?
Yes. First, I find it very key to day-by-day minimize the importance of sex. I realize our culture seems to think that without sex a person is barely alive, but the culture (the Bible calls this “the world”) is not accurate about most life issues, so I’ve experimented with living life fully despite having no so-called “sexual fulfillment” and I find life can be very full and satisfying without sex. Second, cultivating an attitude of praise and thanksgiving is highly medicinal to any hurdle life puts in my path. Failing to give thanks is perhaps one of the most prevalent sins in the 21st century western church, and I try to fight that tendency/temptation in myself by finding things for which to offer thanks and praise to God. Third, I seek to comprehend and then practice the two giant commands of Christianity:  love God and love people.  This takes significant focus and energy. Fourth, I have offered my sexuality as a gift and offering to God. Sometimes I’ve told God, “I don’t have much to give you, but I do have this—take it and use it as You will”. Fifth, I’ve found that thinking of sexual sin in terms of “idolatry” is particularly helpful. Sex is an idol to many of us, and I do not want idols (things I worship, things I value more highly than I value God) in my life. Sixth, Celebrating the joys of single life with friends reminds me that I’d usually rather have my problems and my burdens than those of married folks. Seventh, I’m cultivating a habit of thinking about “positives”. For example, I’m often asked if I believe homosexual activity is “wrong”, but I prefer to focus on what is right…and good….and holy….and beautiful….and low-key the focus on what’s “wrong” or bad. Light overcomes darkness.
What can the Church do to better support single individuals (regardless of their sexual orientation) and those pursuing celibacy?
... My church tries to provide “ministry” to single people. I don’t think single people need to be ministered to; I think we need to be challenged to live out our full, abundant, unique calling in God’s Kingdom. My church doesn’t do that very well. The Bible speaks of the benefits of singleness, and God asked some of his key servants (Jeremiah, for example) to refrain from marriage. My church never talks about any of this


.Although it is not always the case, as marriage often gets placed on a pedestal in the Church, what are some of the blessings in being single that are often overlooked?


...The spiritual discipline of solitude and a sense of intimacy with God are more available logistically to single people. Single people, even if residing in households that include other people, have a sense of aloneness about them, and the best way to cope with that is to develop good spiritual disciplines.  That means the single people of the church, given the right conditions (especially the encouragement of the church) can become spiritual powerhouses and champions for the Kingdom of God."
Really, really good commentary about singleness and celibacy.

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