Coming out to CCF was never about bravery.  By that time--as I've remarked to several people--it was necessity.  It was just something I had to get off my chest, something that I knew I had to tell people, and something people needed to hear about.

No, being brave has always been a thing of the future.

The bravery part comes when people still make jokes about someone else being gay or about gay people.

It comes when I have to learn to not resent them.

It comes when I realize that they are fallible humans as well

It comes when I have to learn to love them and extend grace instead.

It comes when other people of whatever sexuality are getting into relationships or getting married and I'm still alone.

It comes when no one's really asking me how I'm doing.

It comes when people are asking me how I'm doing and I know I should open up about my struggles.

It comes when I am lonely, when it feels like no one understands, and when I just want someone to be there for me.

All of which, since coming out, I haven't been so good at... being brave, being un-resentful, extending love and grace, opening up...

The last couple days, however, have been good to me.  Big thanks to those who asked me about my last post... although it was painful/embarrassing each time to think back to it and then to directly talk about my post, I was glad to get it out there.  And I think I was really able to sort some things out and hopefully patch things up.  =)

So thanks.  Being brave hasn't been so hard with God and you guys.  =)