Camp Impact

(I have two big praises for God these past few weeks, and here's the most recent)

I came into Camp Impact not ready, not knowing what I was doing, and having little idea of what was gonna go down.  And while some of my one-on-ones and discussions could have gone better, God worked through me and my campers anyway.


At Camp Impact this year, there were over 200 campers, about 40 counselors, two directors, and the speaker.  For those who don't know, we're split into "family groups" of two small groups:  one guy group and one girl group, each having about 4 or 5 campers.  Impact runs from Wednesday to Sunday (this year, the 27th to the 31st).
I had 5 guys that were incoming sophomores, and Elaine and I shared our testimonies at our first Family Time with both small groups on Thursday.  After talking about studying Mormonism and apologetics, I talked about being gay, being celibate from same-sex relationships, and just wanting to show the world that there's more to life than sex and fulfilling those desires. Some people might compare the necessity for sex to the necessity for food and water, but I want them to know that there's an even greater need out there:  our need for God.

Earlier the night before, I even mentioned pornography and masturbation to the guys and talked about how they shouldn't be ashamed if they struggle with those things.  So I was pretty much laying it all there, and hoping they'd be open with me so I could pour into them and help them with whatever they were struggling with.

At first, I feared I might've been too open and maybe they felt uncomfortable.  So on Thursday night during small group, I asked if me talking about being gay made them feel uncomfortable, and they pretty much all shook their heads.  After I shared about my own trials with beign gay, I asked my campers what trials they were going through, and three of my guys shared pretty quickly.  It was down to two more campers, and I sat there, for at least 2 or 3 minutes in silence (I was inspired by Lynn's talk about the sacredness of silence during our counselor meeting right before) and finally one of the two spoke up.  I commented on what he said and then waited for the last camper, asking him if there was anything.  Which, I mean, considering that he himself had said before that he liked how the speaker was saying that everyone struggles with something, I expected at least something, even if it wasn't really vulnerable.  He started with "Mmm..." and stopped.  I waited another minute or so, asked again, and he started again with "Mmm..." and stopped again.  Finally, when I waited and asked if there was anything, he shook his head, and in my head, I was like "Wait, really?  You can't think of anything?"  But I responded with, "Ok, that's fine!" and changed the subject.  Judging by the time it took for him to not speak, I felt like there was something there.

But I realized I shouldn't be pushing or necessarily expecting my campers to be completely open with me.  Rather, perhaps my openness was a gift from God, and I shouldn't judge people if they aren't ready to share. So I prayed that if they didn't share with me what they were going through, that they would be able to share with someone else who could support them and with God to help them with it.

The next day, however, the camper who didn't share the night before told me that he had been questioning his sexuality since 6th grade.

The counselors always talk about how they can see how God placed their campers in their small groups for a reason.  Just by seeing how the groups have people in it who struggle with what they struggle(d) with in their lives, they could truly see God working.  I had been wanting that to happen to me too, as I put on my application that I really wanted to help anyone who was struggling with homosexuality.  In fact, just in case, I had brought along a copy of Washed and Waiting to just give away.  I half-expected God to place someone who was gay in my small group, and I, frankly, may have been a little disappointed if there hadn't been anyone (a little selfish, I know).

Ask and you shall receive, the other counselors told me when I shared this story.  Yes, yes... but I didn't actually think God could--or perhaps would--provide.  Out of the 100+ guys at Impact, I got the one who was open enough to tell me he knew he wasn't straight.  By the sheer happiness that I could have a chance to help this camper, I teared up when he told me that he was questioning his sexuality and I had to awkwardly wipe away my tears welling up in my eyes as he was talking with me.

I'd been wanting for so long for this struggle to not seem so pointless, and the chance to pour into this camper was certainly an answer to those prayers.
Actually, after I thought more about it, he's the first bi/gay/questioning person who is younger than me.

I spent the next few hours (and arguably days) in a daze.  Just amazed that God would be so kind as to bless me with this camper, this responsibility, and the chance to help him out.  That God would fulfill that deepest desire in me to bring others closer to Him.  I've already written to him specifically about dealing with this and I got to give him Washed and Waiting that day.  (I was literally like, "Ooh, I have a book to give you!!  =DDD!!)  I don't know how much he wants me to be in his life, but considering I'm the second person he's voluntarily told... well, that's pretty sacred, in my opinion.

That was probably the biggest highlight of Camp.  Close follow-ups would be getting to know Kevin Y. better, learning about Susan S.'s testimony, and just the overall experience and reminder of the Gospel.

At the end of camp, we give each other encouragement grams (e-grams), and here is one that I continue to look back on.

(btw, "family group" extends to calling the girl and guy counselor Mom and Dad respectively.)

"Hey David!  Thank you so much for being an awesome Dad!  I felt really inspired to know I wasn't alone in my problems.  I'm so glad I met you (and thanks for the book)!  Hope I see you sometime!  *HEART* U DAD!"

I've read this numerous times already.  It was my most-anticipated e-gram, and although it's short, it's still really good.  I cherish it so much.  

To wrap up, let me get the little ironies that I so like to focus on sometimes for evidences of God working (not exactly the most reliable source of info, but I think it's cool nonetheless).  As I was waiting for Impact, I took these as signs that Camp Impact was God's will for me.

• This year's theme is "The Return of My Superhero." I'm not really into superheroes much, but my small group's name was the Nightcrawlers, and Nightcrawler is my favorite X-Men (X-Man?...)!  I just really like his mutant power of being able to teleport.
• I was living in Noah's Ark... if I had to change my name to anything, I'd probably choose Noah.
• My camp wife is a KIPP kindergarten teacher... Albert and I are leading an Alternative Spring Break to a KIPP school.

awesomeeee...God is good.  Just pray for the campers that they would continue to walk closely with God and dig deep into His Word.  And pray for my son who happens to take after his father.  May he not be ashamed of himself and his struggles, and may God flood him with the comprehension of what is the breadth, and length, and height, and depth of Christ's love.