*follow ALL the gay Christian tumblrs!*  (mostly the ones trying to be celibate from same-sex relationships like me, for added support)

I've kinda felt that way these past couple of weeks, haha.  It has been really good, though, reading their posts and having some dialogue with a few of them.  =)  I've noticed that tumblr lends itself a lot more to outreach, as most people who read my blogspot are likely to be my close friends, and tumblr feeds on reblogs and different categories.  For instance, I wondered why it was that some of the tumblrs I read get all these questions from other random people, and I think it's probably because they use tags.  So maybe I'll start doing that if I want an influx of news about what I write.

I did get a couple of questions, which I tried to answer, and freedchristian.tumblr.com replied that I had a really good reply!  =D  I felt honored.

Anyway, I realized some important things just now, which I wrote about on my tumblr.  Here's the recreated post:

"My goal isn't to be straight;

it's to be holy... no matter what my orientation.
I credit Bev for pointing me to Christopher Yuan's blog right after Urbana '09, which I think in many ways prepared me to come out to my first person that March.
After reading some of freedchristian's responses about reorientation (i.e. going from one sexual orientation to another orientation) and such, I felt a slight uneasiness about the whole idea of becoming straight.  I wasn't quite sure why, so I didn't bring it up to him.
But I thought about Christopher Yuan's blog just now, looked it up, and found this post. (Seriously, go read his blog.  It's a gold mine of information that brought me a lot of comfort back in Jan '10.  And it is still so applicable, especially as I get ready to come out to my church and educate them about homosexuality on Sunday.) In it, Yuan states that
"The major misconception within the Church is that heterosexuality is what is normal and that this is what God has ordained. But when we look in Scripture, there are about seven times more references to adultery, fornication and lust - all sins associated with heterosexuality - when compared to homosexuality. Now I'm not trying to justify homosexuality but I'm just proving a point that neither homosexuality or heterosexuality should be the goal for any Christian. Heterosexuality is too broad encompassing adultery, fornication and lust (which are all sins).

The goal for all Christians should be HOLY SEXUALITY.

God has clearly set out what holy sexuality means. God gives us two options for holy sexuality: if we are single, then abstinence and if we are married, then faithfulness (and God has very clearly proscribed marriage to be with a man and a woman).

Therefore, my goal has never been to become straight. Because if I become straight, then I would begin lusting after women (which is a sin) and I would still have to focus on holy sexuality. My goal is holiness."

This explains why I have resisted praying or really caring for my orientation to change/for my same-sex attractions to go away.  I thought it was because I just liked being unique and I liked having this important message that I felt God gave me to bridge gaps and educate people with.  While both these reasons probably still play a large part, I think it's more that I am influenced by Yuan's logic and thoughts.  It likely has also helped in accepting myself and the fact that this is just the cross I have to bear. After all, if you take out society's influence and the painful degradation of those with same-sex attractions, any person who has sexual feelings has similar crosses to bear.
I also think his ideas are important to pay attention to when talking with those who are not straight, whether they be Christian or not. This also plays into the question of fluid sexuality, or what one's orientation means in general. The truth is, it all really doesn't matter. The point isn't to ask people to focus on getting rid of their physical same-sex attractions; it's to ask people to be holy in the midst of them."