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Mixed feelings, as always.  But it's still good to be back.  It doesn't really feel like I've been away for that long, actually.

Finally got to start on my baking adventures this winter break!  I had a bunch of bookmarked sites and I went to three different grocery stores with my family today to try to buy all the ingredients necessary.

• Made this buttermilk pound cake which has been promisingly good.  Apparently it's best at least a day after baking, but i decided to eat some anyway, and it was not bad.

• Also made some peppermint macarons with peppermint buttercream frosting.
• The frosting is REALLY good.  Like really, really good.  As the author states, "This might be the single best frosting I have ever tasted."  My mouth continues to ache for more long after I've had some.
• Of course, with 2 sticks of butter and 5 cups of powdered sugar, it shouldn't really come as a surprise that it's delicious.  >_<
• So maybe my mouth doesn't ache that much after I realize how much craziness went into it.  -_-
• Props to Teresa for sharing this macaron recipe with me--I took this strawberry one and just used the peppermint extract I bought for the buttercream frosting to make it peppermint macarons (I was too lazy/didn't care enough about strawberry to look for strawberry flavoring).  My mom even happened to have green food coloring (i was just gonna keep them white, but then I asked, and she surprisingly had some.  She hates artificial coloring, but I imagine she's had this probably for years and years.)
• Found out that wax paper is not the same as parchment paper.  I thought it might be, even though they were obviously different names.  I guess the "Make Baking Easier!" was actually supposed to indicate that you would use the wax paper for all purposes except actually baking them in the oven.  whoops.  Thankfully, the wax didn't melt like other peoples' had, but the macarons had sadly and hopelessly stuck to the wax paper.  I just scraped them off, threw on a dollop of frosting, and heck, the taste profile's the same, right?  Even if they're not as cute and pretty as real macarons.
• Also, I didn't have a pipettor thing, so I used a spoon.  This created macaron halves that were monstrously larger than your normal halves.
• Overall, I grant myself a relative success for my first macaron experience!  =D  They even had that nice little layer on the bottom half that kinda reminds me of lettuce on a burger... if that makes sense.  So proud of myself.  (well, I'd be prouder if it actually turned out to look like real macarons, but whatever.)  
• The electric mixer (found out my home's stand mixer is a Professional 500 kitchen aid!  I thought my mom just bought a Classic way back when, but she said that she decided to just spend some extra money in buying a good one.  =)  )  was obviously a huge help in whisking those egg whites.  And grinding the almonds to make almond flour was kinda annoying, but it turned out ok.
• I know... pics or it didn't happen.  Whatever.  =P
• I may end up making these in the future at WRC... they do have a blender and a stand mixer!

Now on to more serious things...

I have been far from God.  I think after analyzing my heart from doing devotions and talking with Alvin, that's clear.  

Alvin and my last accountability on Tuesday made me feel like crap... but it was the good feeling of feeling like crap.  Conviction with the hope of change.

the gist:

At the end, he brought up how one-dimensional I seemed this semester (or really, most of the time he's known me...?  I think that was what he also said), and didn't really feel like he got to know me.  Ugh.  Not what you want to hear from someone who's supposed to be getting to know you well.  (although maybe this means we need to hang out/talk more, Alvin?  xP  of course I'm always down for that.)

I felt like a failure, was rather shocked, and could only muster a... "I'm sad that you think I'm one-dimensional."

Wow, that sounds extra lame now that I type that out, but in context it was slightly better.  Maybe. Perhaps if you imagine me saying it, it's less lame.

I was glad that he brought it up, though.  I will definitely be elaborating later (it's 4 a.m. now, but that's mostly because I didn't realize the macarons needed to sit at room temperature for 2-3 hrs. before baking into the oven, and I'd finished putting them on the wax paper at like 11:30 p.m.), but Alvin did give me some stuff to think about, as well as confirmation of what I'd been feeling and what another person had pointed out to me.  Was/am super grateful to have Alvin in my life and for him to speak truth into my life as best he could.

Thankfully, this winter break I plan on spending much time getting back on track.  No excuses.